Lifebooks

Back before scrapbooking became a verb, we all made the same kind of book. We bought bound volumes of gray construction paper, a supply of "corners" and tried our best to make sure photos were straight. Sometimes we remembered to add handwritten notations, in our best penmanship with fountain pens (ink from a bottle) that inconveniently faded over time.

When treasured mementos were too big or awkward, like school drawings and pressed flowers, they were stuffed into back pages in the hopes that they wouldn't fall out and get lost.

Welcome to the Present

Today, we have a multitude of designs and styles. We have journals and memory books to record our written words and perhaps some sketches; we have scrapbooks, which focus on shared family activities and memories; and in adoptive and foster families, we have the wonderful treasure of lifebooks.

Melinda Elliott was so enchanted with the idea of lifebooks that she created the Life Preserves Web site. She has collected quotes from well-known authors and therapists about their importance in a child's life, and most recently, she published her online scrapbooking tutorial to help the rest of us get started.

Beth O'Malley believes that LifeBooks are magic; that they promote attachment and identity. She believes so strongly in the positive effect of these simple books that trace a child's life experience, from the child's viewpoint, that she's written an entire book about them: what they are and aren't, how to make them, and how to use them to build attachment and a positive grasp of identity. Her book is called "LifeBooks: Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child."

In the first chapter she writes: "A LifeBook is more than a story. It is a unique opportunity for parents to honor every minute of their children's lives. It is the single most meaningful piece of "paperwork" that any adoption social worker can complete. And foster parents? You can give an adoptee/foster child a sweet childhood memory."

You may have started a journal or lifebook with notes and photographs as soon as you made the firm decision to adopt. As you reach the final stretch, consider pulling your book together, or preparing a new one to begin when your child is finally home. Don't plan on having too much free time to take care of details like these after your child arrives!

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One of my creative friends recently adopted two brothers, ages 4 and 6, through the foster care system. Her husband gave each of the boys an inexpensive camera and showed them how to take pictures. Over the course of their pre-placement visits, the boys took pictures of people and places, and these photos were the first additions to their permanent lifebooks.

Ready? Let's get Lifebooking!

(c) Nancy S. Ashe

© Nancy S. Ashe